Flaky friends.

I really try not to rant or bitch too much on this blog. I try to use it as a way for me to write down my thoughts, work through my issues, and get feedback from anyone who reads it and might have something useful to add.

But today, I’m going to bitch. Because I feel like my head might explode if I don’t.

Over the last few weeks, I have had four instances where friends of mine have canceled plans with me at the last minute. I’m talking only HOURS before we were supposed to get together. All four instances have happened with the same two friends (two times per friend).

Now, admittedly, these plans weren’t that big of a deal. Twice it was lunch with a friend, twice it was dinner with a friend. In all the instances, however, we had discussed getting together several times, decided on a time and a date that worked for both of us, and made the committment.

I really should know better by now that both of these girls are flakes. My friend S is always super enthusiastic about plans at first, but will cancel at the last minute 9 times out of 10. Something will always come up. Car trouble/maintenance is her main excuse, or a random family event that she “didn’t know about.” It’s gotten to the point where she isn’t getting invited any more when our friends get together because we know she ultimately won’t show up.

My friend M is a bit of a different story. There is ALWAYS some major issue going on in her life. She is a huge drama queen, and that drama is what causes her to cancel plans at the last minute. She & I have been trying to plan for MONTHS about when she could come see my house and have dinner (she lives about 45 minutes away). Twice now she’s canceled. The last time this happened, she called me at noon on the day we were supposed to get together and left me a message saying (and I quote) “My life is basically in shambles right now.” Her grandma was in the hospital (but not seriously ill) and her lunatic dog had eaten some kind of body lotion and she had to take her to the vet. I wanted so badly to say “Honey, you don’t know what ‘shambles’ is. You have this totally inconsequential shit happen to you and you lose your mind. I hope nothing serious ever happens to you, because you won’t be able to deal with it.”

I think the situation with M bothers me more because I was just in her wedding and dropped like $600 between the dress, the (nightmare) bridal shower, the bachelorette party in Atlantic City, hair, shoes, etc. And the other afternoon she called me at work and asked me fix a file for her as a favor, which she just so happened to need that same night. (Side note: This girl is the biggest procrastinator IN THE WORLD. Seriously.) So I stayed for an extra hour and a half, trying to help her with this project so she could send it to the printer, only to be told the next morning that she couldn’t use what I’d given her (which was exactly what she’d asked for).

I think I KNOW I’m too nice. I’ve spent years trying hard to make sure that people like me, and I really have nothing to show for it. Yes, I have a lot of friends, which makes me feel good. But it has become exhausting, and I find myself caring less and less about going out of my way to make plans with people or help people out who I know will either cancel at the last minute or never return the favor.

I’m not saying I’ve never been flaky in my life, because I have. I have been the person who canceled plans at the last minute. But I guess I found myself at a point where that kind of behavior is no longer acceptable. I just wish these people would get to that point as well.


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