Off the deep end.

Oh boy, did I really go off the deep end yesterday. I am ashamed to say that it got worse after my lunch time trip to CVS. I won’t go into the details but will say that it involved a drive-thru. And ice cream. Oy vey!

Using my birthday as an excuse was a mistake. I was only fooling myself. But, I will give myself a pass for yesterday and move on. I’m back on track today, and I will stay on track. I will weigh in on Saturday morning and the number will be down from last time, so help me God!

Moving has left me feeling really disoriented and just plain off in general. That may be some of the reason I’ve been struggling. I kind of feel like I am living in a stranger’s house. Don’t get me wrong – I love my house, and I am thrilled to be living there. But I’m not the type of person who can deal with a lot of boxes and clutter sitting around. I hate not knowing where everything is. My kitchen is still a work zone, so I haven’t unpacked any dishes or cups or anything yet. That is my goal for the rest of the week – get the kitchen to be functional enough so that I can’t use it as an excuse for why I can’t cook. My stove works. My refrigerator is back in my house. I have a microwave to use temporarily until my new one gets installed. I’m going to the grocery store today after work to stock up on necessities. Then, I’ll be all set and will have no excuse NOT to cook for myself.

The good thing is that I will most likely NOT be working tomorrow. We’re supposed to get another 12″-18″ of snow (that will be  a grand total of about 3.5 FEET!). I work for a home health/hospice agency and we hardly ever close due to bad weather, but I’m thinking that tomorrow might be my lucky day. If we don’t close, and the roads are bad, I’m going to take the day off anyway. I will not risk my life to drive 30+ miles for work. It’s just not worth it! So, hopefully, tomorrow I’ll be able to work on putting my kitchen together as much as possible and getting more stuff done around the house. Maybe then I’ll feel a little more at home.

I was supposed to go to Harrisburg tonight to try on bridesmaid dresses with my friend and her sister (the maid of honor). With the snow coming, I just don’t think it’s going to happen. I can’t say I am upset that we’ll have to reschedule the appointment. I can tell I’ve lost weight, but losing 15+ pounds when you have over 150 pounds to lose makes it hard for anyone else to tell. I can feel a slight difference in how my clothes fit, but I’m not quite ready to move down to a smaller size. Going and trying on dresses is a scary thought. I have read that bridesmaid dresses often run small, and that girls who normally wear a 10 or 12 have to buy a 14 or 16 dress for it to fit.  I don’t want to go there and not be able to fit into the largest size they carry. And how will I know what size to order so that the dress will fit me and look right after I lose (hopefully) 50+ pounds in the next 5 months? It’s stressing me out just thinking about it. I need to cross that bridge when I get there.


One Response to “Off the deep end.”

  1. jenn Says:

    I’m in a similar position with bridesmaid dresses. I’m in a wedding the end of June and had to order my dress over the phone because its out of town. I didn’t want to order a much smaller dress and then NOT fit in it so I ordered my current size and will alter it if need be. AND I’m really hoping there’s a need be!! I’ve been in situations before when a bridesmaid ordered 3 sized smaller b/c she thought she’d lose weight and it didn’t happen. You can only take the dress out by 1-2 inches. I’d rather pay the $30-50 for alterations to make it smaller. I was in 5 weddings the year before and remembering one of the women from the shop telling me that typically if you’re planning on losing weight .. Rule of thumb (in the dress world) is that -15 lbs = 1 dress size.

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