I am TIRED. You know you are approaching total exhaustion when you fantasize about getting the flu so that you have an excuse to lay around and do absolutely nothing for a few days.

Between my job, trying to finish work on my house, and focusing on eating well and exercising…I am feeling like there is just not enough brain power to go around. In the past, when I felt overwhelmed like this, my solution was always food. I would think “Ugh, my life is so NOT fun right now. There is nothing enjoyable happening and nothing coming up to really look forward to. I’ll just have some chocolate as a reward for getting through the day.”

“Some chocolate” would come in the form of an entire bag of Kit-Kats or Hershey Kisses. Sometimes both, if it was an especially trying day. When I think about that now, it disgusts me.

I can see why people give up on diets so easily. I can see why I’ve given up on diets so easily. Eating right and exercising takes a lot of time, effort, and planning. It takes a lot of willpower to drive past the McDonald’s when you are hungry or tired or sad. Making good decisions and staying on track takes a lot of strength and focus. It’s exhausting to fight with yourself all day, every day.

I still can’t trust myself completely. I still can’t let my guard down. I haven’t been at this long enough yet.

I know my current situation is just temporary. I know it will get easier. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Two weeks from today is my 28th birthday. I will have just spent the second night sleeping in my own house. I am taking my birthday off from work so that I can unpack and figure out what I need to buy. I cannot WAIT.

So for right now, I’ve just got to hang in there. Keep moving forward. Stay as focused as I can. If I can get through this time without going back to my old habits, I’ll be one step closer to a new me.


2 Responses to “Pooped.”

  1. theplumpvegan Says:

    Hang in there; you can do this!!

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